Stop Overgiving. Watch Who Stays.
I used to give everything.
Time, energy, attention, patience, forgiveness, second chances, third chances, the benefit of the doubt so many times I lost count. I showed up when it was inconvenient. I stayed when leaving would have been easier. I gave more than I had and then quietly replenished and gave again.
I called it loyalty. I called it love. I called it being a good person.
What it actually was, I understand now, was fear. Fear that if I stopped being useful I would become dispensable. Fear that the connection was conditional on what I provided. Fear that without the giving there would be nothing left for anyone to stay for.
And the brutal thing about overgiving from that place is that it attracts exactly the people who confirm your worst fear. People who take what is offered without question. Who are there when you are giving and gone when you are not. Who mistake your availability for abundance and your generosity for a personality rather than a wound.
Stop overgiving. Watch who stays.
I did this. Not dramatically. I just quietly stopped making myself so endlessly available. Stopped being the first to reach out every time. Stopped carrying conversations that only moved when I was carrying them. Stopped showing up with everything when the other person showed up with nothing.
Some people barely noticed I had changed. They were already looking for the next source.
Some people, a very small number, actually asked if I was okay. Showed up differently when I showed up differently. Proved that what they were there for was me, not what I could give them.
That small number are the ones worth keeping.
You do not have to give less to people who deserve your generosity. You have to stop giving everything to people who were never going to appreciate it anyway.
The ones who stay when you have nothing to offer are the only ones who were ever really there.
rise · believe · fly 🪶
From the Ashes She is for the woman in the middle of it. Not after. If this found you today, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.