Take It Personal
Someone is going to read this and say "not everything is intentional, people make mistakes, you need to be more forgiving."
To that person: hi, how are you, this post is not for you.
For everyone else.
We spend a lot of time at a certain age making excuses for people. They did not mean it. They were having a hard time. They did not realise. They are just like that. You know how they are.
Yes. I do know how they are. That is exactly the problem.
At some point, maybe around the time you have survived enough to know better, something shifts. You stop collecting evidence and start reading verdicts.
The person who goes quiet every time you need something. The one who remembers your birthday only when they want a favour, or Facebook reminds them. Delete Facebook and watch how many birthdays suddenly go unnoticed. Eye opening does not cover it. The one who was very available when your life was falling apart and somehow very busy once you started standing back up. The one who said something that landed like a fist and then looked surprised that it hurt.
They know. They knew when they did it. They are not confused. They are not accidentally unkind. They made a calculation and decided you were worth the risk.
Take it personal.
Not in the way that makes you spiral at 3am writing messages you never send. Not in the way that turns into a whole thing. Just in the quiet, clear way that means: I see you. I am updating my records. I will not be making the same mistake twice.
I spent years giving people the benefit of the doubt they had not earned. Years translating unkindness into misunderstanding because it was more comfortable than accepting that some people simply do not have my best interests in their hearts and never did.
You know what I do now when someone does something that hurts?
I believe them.
Not dramatically. No speech. No explanation requested. I just believe them. File it. And adjust accordingly.
The funniest part of all of this is what happens when you stop over-explaining yourself to people who were never confused. When you stop chasing people who were never lost. When you go quiet in exactly the way they expected you never to.
The silence is so peaceful you almost want to thank them.
Almost.
What did someone do recently that you are still making excuses for?
rise · believe · fly 🪶
From the Ashes She is for the woman in the middle of it. Not after. If this found you today, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.